I was talking with a friend recently, who just got engaged, about how freaking difficult it can be to jump into the engagement season and just start planning your wedding. People start asking you questions as if you’ve done the whole planning a wedding thing before. People will just start spewing marriage advice and ask you all about what life looks like after you’re married. Heck, the baby jokes even start at this time…

Like dang people, let’s take one thing at a time.

So with that being said, planning a freaking wedding is HARD! I personally struggled planning my wedding too, whether it was the mass amount of stress, really trying to save money, attempting to envision how the day would go, or simply just wanting to understand the meaning of marriage more…DANG, all of it was so freaking hard! And most of the time you have NO IDEA where to start, what to look out for, tips + tricks to save money, what styles you like, etc.

So, with going through all that getting married myself, hearing the struggles of past and current clients for over a year now, and this specific conversation with a friend…I decided to share my top 5 FAVORITE tips I give to couples who just got engaged…when they ask of course 🤪

1. Marriage is to Show God’s Love for Us

When you get stressed remember what marriage was ultimately designed for—showing the beautiful physical representation between God and his church. In moments of overwhelm, when you simply can’t stop stressing over the day’s little details, just remember that the goal of the day is to simply show Jesus. To show his heart, to show his crazy sacrificial love, to show the excitement he feels when he looks at you…that’s what the day is all about.

“We were set up to love. To absorb the love of God into our bloodstream and then to share it with another human being.”
― John Mark Comer, Loveology: God. Love. Marriage. Sex. And the Never-Ending Story of Male and Female.

2. Dream Big + Nix the Traditions

Dream freaking big and don’t feel attached to classic traditions! Create a day that YOU will look forward to. I literally cannot tell you how many brides I’ve heard say, “I just can’t wait for the wedding to be over,” and I never want that to be you!!
So create a day that the two of you would particularly enjoy, have fun, and create new + wonderful memories! If a fancy venue with a traditional cake doesn’t scream you, then don’t do it. Have some cotton candy on a hot air ballon instead! This day is all about creating new memories and commemorating the start of a CRAZY fun adventure…so make the day like that!

3. Discover Your Priorities

Figure out what your biggest priorities are for the day. If having your memories and the day captured to remember for years to come is a big priority for you, then put photography at the top of the list. If having a grand and epic adventure on your wedding day is a top priority, then put that at the top of the list. Ultimately, you should have 5 main priorities for the day. This will help you and your fiancé set expectations for the day, set the budget accordingly, and make decisions a lot easier.

4. Invest in Each Other

Invest in one another in this precious season! The engagement season isn’t a time to just rush through and only focus on the wedding day. This season is used to learn more about one another, how you’ll be making decisions together, what life after the wedding day looks like, etc.
Ask the hard questions and if you don’t know where to start, look into some marriage books. These two are my top recs for marriage books:

The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb

Loveology: God. Love. Marriage. Sex. And the Never-Ending Story of Male and Female

5. Invest in Good Vendors

Invest in good vendors that know what they are doing! Okay okay, I know that can come off quite biased since I’m an elopement photographer (aka a vendor). But investing in good vendors can seriously make or break your day. These people are your teammates. These are the people you’ll be spending a good freaking majority of your entire wedding day around.

So, my advice? Find vendors who care to get to know you guys, vendors that go above and beyond for you both, and vendors that will create your day to run smoothly and alleviate any stress on you. And in my opinion, if you aren’t getting a wedding coordinator then invest a good majority of your budget into a good photographer. Again, I know I sound biased here. But honestly, you spend pretty much 90% of your wedding day with your photographer. They are producing the one and only physically tangible thing that’ll help you look back on your magical day. If you get a good photographer they will help you create the smoothest timeline for the day to help it go by stress-free. When my clients book with me I always make sure I personally get to know them and the wedding day they envision. I give my clients guides and PDFs that help them along the entire wedding-planning journey, and I create a customized timeline for the day to make sure it runs smoothly and stress-free for them.

Want to chat about your dreamy, big wedding day? Let’s chat! I’d love to hear all about the wedding day you’re creating and then help make that day actually happen!